


Catholics Don't Put Up With This Nonsense

by eleanornoel



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Bible Camp, Closeted Character, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Panic Attacks, Pray the Gay Away trope, Questioning, Religious Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanornoel/pseuds/eleanornoel
Summary: Eric had been looking forward to Camp Ichthys for weeks. How is he supposed to convince his mama that he doesn't want to go to church camp ever again?orIn which the author draws heavily from her final church camp experience and projects a lot of religious insecurity on our favorite closeted Southern Baptist.





	Catholics Don't Put Up With This Nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> There is some homophobic language in this fic (f* word, going to hell for being gay, etc.) Since this is set at church camp, there is also quite a bit of religious language, targeted particularly towards sinning. I also did my best to portray both speaking in tongues and panic attacks, so if you are triggered by any of these things, proceed with caution.
> 
> I'm from a very rural part of the Midwest, which my Georgian roommate confirms is fairly similar to the South, especially in religious experiences, but forgive me if I've made any glaring errors. I'm neither Baptist nor Southern. I am however gay and raised in the church, so I find that lens a very compelling one through which to examine Bitty.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! (or come scream at me on tumblr @eleanornoel)

The weekend started out harmless enough. Camp Ichthys was something that Eric had been looking forward to for weeks. On Friday, he didn’t even go home from school, just loaded his duffle into Mrs. Rundell’s minivan and clambered into the backseat behind Steven. 

Friday was simple fun: playing capture the flag in the field behind the church and making s’mores over the fire next to the creek. Before meals, the group of 20 middle schoolers bent their heads in prayer and then scarfed down peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (Eric knew the Smucker’s grape jelly smushed between two slices of wheat bread was inferior in every way to his mama’s jam, but he kept his opinions to himself.)

On Saturday afternoon, Jacob and Michael tried to start up a game of touch football, much to Eric’s chagrin, but Mr. Lowe convinced them to play another round of capture the flag instead. 

Personally, Eric was a much bigger fan of capture the flag. Sure, he was better at it than football thanks to his speed, honed by years of training in the rink, but what he really liked was “accidentally” getting out early on and then watching the other boys. Lucas Hamilton, specifically, looked particularly athletic as he slid over the damp grass with the opposing team’s flag clutched in his hand. Not that Eric was looking, of course. But Bethany had been sitting next to him in jail and sighed when Lucas high fived Michael, the two boys grinning and laughing.

“Why is he so cute?” Bethany muttered. Eric didn’t respond, but he thought it had something to do with the combination of Lucas’ dark hair and green eyes, and the way he had a early spring tan from afternoon football practices.

But then Mr. Lowe blew his whistle and called them all inside for an afternoon devotional. Maybe it was because they were all finally teenagers, but the adults split them up this year. The girls went downstairs with Mrs. Rundell and the boys marched back outside with Mr. Lowe. Eric knew he was talking about faithfulness in marriage and how important it was to honor your wife, but Eric was distracted by the afternoon sun highlighting the freckles on Lucas’ cheeks. He was trying not to stare, but gosh that boy was pretty.  
“Eric?” Mr. Lowe’s voice startled him and Eric jumped, hoping guiltily that nobody had noticed him looking at Lucas. Mr. Lowe looked at him expectantly, and Eric flushed.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I thought I saw a deer by the creek.”  
Michael twisted in his seat at the picnic table, but there was no deer to be found. “Aww, c’mon!” he cried, “I really thought there was gonna be one!”  
Mr. Lowe admonished Michael to turn around and listen and then he turned his focus back towards Eric. “As I was asking Eric,” he emphasized, “what’s the best way you can think of to honor your future wife?”

Eric’s mind raced, trying to think of something that none of the other boys would have said while he was daydreaming. “Well, Mr. Lowe,” he started, “I think God has blessed me with a talent for baking and MooMaw says that blessings should be shared. So, I guess, I’d honor my wife by cooking for her?”  
Jacob and Steven started to snicker, but Mr. Lowe silenced them with a look. “That’s very nice, Eric, but the most important thing in any relationship is to keep it centered around God’s will. And as the ten commandments state, adultery is one of the most terrible sins.” That shut Steven and Jacob up for good. Mr. Lowe continued talking about sin, and then told the boys that pornography was a path to hell, because cheating in your heart and mind was just as bad as doing it in real life. And the most immoral part of pornography was the sodomy involved, according to Mr. Lowe.  
When Steven asked what sodomy even was, Michael snorted. “He’s just talkin’ about faggots, dummy.”

Mr. Lowe chided Michael for his language, but he finished their talk by reminding them that God wanted them to remain faithful to their future wife, and not to be led astray by media that normalized evil acts like adultery or sodomy. Eric couldn’t think of anything to say after that, so he just nodded and filed out with the other boys.

At dinner that night, Mrs. Rundell announced that they were going to have a large prayer circle in honor of their final night at camp. After she sat down, her daughter Anna popped to her feet and announced that in the prayer room earlier, God had sent her a vision. 

“He showed me a fire trapped within a cage. I knew that it was the Holy Spirit and that we need to set that fire free this evening. Please come with the intention of communing with God and breaking the barriers that keep the Spirit from us.” Everyone clapped politely as she sat back down, even though Eric privately thought she was being a tad dramatic. 

~~~~~~~~~

Eric wasn’t sure what exactly they’d done to the youth room, but it had been completely transformed since their prayer that morning. Something about the lighting was more orange, or flickering, or… something. And there were large white boxes stacked haphazardly in the front of the room. When all the teenagers had made their way into the space, Mr. Lowe closed the door and nodded towards Mrs. Rundell. She held up her hands and the rowdy teens immediately went silence. 

“As some of you may know,” she started, “God has blessed me with the ability to interpret the language of tongues. This morning, Anna and Bethany were touched by the Spirit and began to speak in tongues. They would like to lay hands on each of you. Please join us.”

Mr. Lowe, from his position by the door, added, “This is a huge blessing. I will lead the entire group in prayer as Bethany and Anna make their way around the room.”

The other boys shuffled around, each trying to find their own space in the cramped room. Eric shifted uncomfortably, wishing his mama was there, or at least Señor Bun. But all he had was Lucas Hamilton shoved next to him and that spooky orange light permeating the room. 

The girls were making their way around the room, laying hands on each of Eric’s friends. Mr. Lowe stood in front of the stacks of boxes, raising his arms towards the ceiling. Eric had seen people holding their hands like that every Sunday for his whole life, but tonight it seemed creepy rather than praiseworthy. “Lord,” Mr. Lowe intoned, “we are gathered here, most of us young and impressionable. We beg you to cover us with your Holy light and forgive us our sins. Some of these children have committed grave sins already, and are in desperate need of your guidance.  
If you have any sins weighing on your heart tonight, don’t be afraid to speak them now,” he continued, addressing the kids clustered around the room.

Michael spoke up first, and said that he wanted to repent for stealing liquor from his father. Mr. Lowe just nodded and said “Lord, we raise these sins to you for your judgment.”

Katie Stewart piped up next, saying that it wasn’t a sin she herself had committed, but she wanted to ask God’s forgiveness for her older sister, who was in college and experimenting with marijuana. Mr. Lowe just nodded solemnly. Anna and Bethany were both standing by Steven. Bethany was whispering in his ear, but Eric couldn’t make out any words, at least, none in English. 

Soon, many of the other kids in the room were speaking simultaneously, some confessing their own small transgressions: jealousy, lying, cheating on a math test, while others talked about sins of the world: atheism, adultery, war. And then next to Eric, as Bethany and Anna laid their hands on his shoulders, Lucas suggested praying for Thomas Ford. Mr. Lowe asked him why, and Lucas just said, “It’s like you said earlier. Being gay is a huge sin and he needs to be saved from himself.”

Thomas Ford was three years older than Eric, and everyone in Sandersville Public Middle School knew he had a boyfriend. Eric had never talked to him personally, but Thomas seemed like a nice guy. Secretly, Eric wished he were brave enough to do what Thomas did: like whoever he wanted without caring what people thought. 

Eric took a deep breath, almost ready to protest, but then Anna Rundell placed both her palms on his shoulders. She leaned in close and started making noises, but it wasn’t any language Eric had ever heard. He shuddered but before he could shrug her hands away, Bethany wrapped her fingers around his hands. Bethany stared at him, looking into his eyes, and it almost seemed like she knew what he had been thinking. Eric didn’t want to go to hell for liking boys! But he didn’t want anyone to know that he liked boys either. He already had a hard enough time, what with the ice skating and the baking.

Lucas and Mr. Lowe thought it was wrong to be gay. Everyone here thought that he deserved to burn in hell for being who he was. With Bethany staring into his eyes and Anna muttering nonsense in his ear, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t fair! Eric never asked to like boys! Why would God have made him this way if it was a sin? Didn’t God want him to go to heaven? It didn’t make any sense. And Anna whispering made up words wasn’t making it any easier to think!

He tried to take a breath to clear his head, but then he felt the tears pooling in his eyes finally concede to gravity. And suddenly, Eric was crying. In front of everyone. And his legs were shaking so hard he could barely stand straight. Anna’s hands tightened on his shoulders, and she finally spoke in English. “Eric is being moved by the Spirit!” she announced.

Eric felt all the eyes in the room turn towards him, and then other people were laying hands on him; Lucas placed a hand on his back and Mrs. Rundell cupped the back of his head. Soon almost everyone was surrounding him, and Anna reverted back to her babbling. Eric was truly crying now, barely able to contain his sobs. He didn’t feel moved by the Spirit at all! He just wanted to go home!

But he couldn’t move, not trapped as he was by his entire youth group. There was nothing for him to do except stand there with tears dripping from his chin.

Eventually, his tears subsided and people slowly started to remove their hands. Mr. Lowe had obviously decided that was the best way to conclude the evening, since he raised his hands again and announced that they were ready for the final activity of the night.  
“Now that you have confessed your sins, it’s time to knock down the walls that keep you from God. When you’re ready, come to the front of the room, and help us destroy this jail that keeps the Holy Fire from us.” And then he knocked into a stack of the white boxes and they tumbled to the ground. 

If he were in a better mood, Eric might have found this a creative visual, but as it was, he was drained and just wanted to go to bed. Steven and Lucas were the first kids to march to the front of the room and knock down their respective walls. Others quickly followed, chattering about how they were going to stop sinning from this moment on. 

Eric was so tired. He trudged to the front of the room and half-heartedly kicked at a stack of boxes. Mr. Lowe clapped a hand on his shoulder as he turned to leave. “Don’t forget this moment, son,” he said. “God has a plan for you, I can tell.”  
Eric nodded, but he was already looking forward to his sleeping bag and then maybe baking a pie with his mama when he got home tomorrow. Anything to help him forget that terrible moment from earlier.

But he couldn’t fall asleep that night, imagining how Lucas would react if he knew how Eric watched him. Or how Mrs. Rundell would be so nasty to his mama if she found out. Or how Mr. Lowe would probably suggest that the whole congregation pray for him. Finally, he dozed off, with his head full of Anna’s whispers and images of people surrounding him to pray over him. 

When his parents arrived the next morning, Suzanne beamed at him. “How was it, Dicky?” Eric wasn’t quite sure how to respond, so he just smiled and told her that he’d thought of a new idea for a peach cobbler crust. Coach watched him from the driver’s seat as he climbed into the back of the pickup’s cab, tossing his duffle onto the other seat.  
“Have fun, Junior?” Coach asked as Eric closed the truck door.  
Eric smiled at his parents in the rearview mirror. “Yeah, it was great,” he lied.

But he knew he never wanted to go back to Camp Ichthys. How was he supposed to convince his mama? Maybe next year Katya would insist he train an extra weekend before the Athens Ice Show...


End file.
